Well, it has been one heck of a past year. A year in which my life went upside down, twisted inside out and taught me a lot about self-reliance, trust, faith, courage and just how far down the emotional and mental rabbit hole one can go when SHTF happens. Never mind the details, but lets just say that after a nasty run in with several governmental agencies of the law enforcement type due to the behavior of someone who at the time was close to me, followed by all the fun police action entails (mind you I did NOTHING wrong myself but that is another topic for later), sudden loss of income on several levels, the acts of nature that came afterwards and then top off by the sudden death of someone close to me (by suicide, and I found him)…and well, I am just happy that I still have my home, my kids and one car left. I can laugh about it now in some ways…but one thing is for sure…I have LEARNED the hard way about being prepared for whatever may happen. Made a lot of mistakes along the way in the past 12 months, but hey, I am human and I am still standing.
I am still dealing with the fall out of the last year, but am now able to look back and say, that was right, this could have been done better and what were the lessons I learned?
First things first, if you think it can’t happen to you, it will…just ask them up in New York and New Jersey about Sandy. Just ask anyone who has lost a job or source of income/job that looked and seemed rock solid and just ask anyone who has lost someone due to suicide or some other untimely death or has had their life shattered by any type of trauma. It can happen to you.
That is lesson number #1…IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU…this idea that so many people have (or should I say ‘illusions’?) that if they do everything right, walk the line, go along with the flow will give them safety and security in this world is a and can be a fatal one. See and understand this…preparedness is the ability to get past this idea that ‘it can’t happen’ or ‘it won’t happen’ or ‘I have done nothing wrong and abide the rules and laws’ or ‘it has never happened before’ or ‘oh, the chances are almost slim to nothing’ or any of a million other things we say to ourselves to make the world a safe place for us to live. The super storms of this past summer…never happened before…Superstorm Sandy…oh they will help us and/or its not that bad and/or it never happens here…it is safe to speak your mind and rant and rave on the internet…its just harmless talk and the 1st Amendment protects me (are you nuts?) or any number of things (um, can we say QE3 and 4? Or Sandyhook? Or the movie theater shootings)…say bleeettt if you have managed to avoid taking a hard look at the world we live and not come to the conclusion that you need to get as prepared as you possibly can (shall I begin to cite statistics on unemployment or how many people get foodstamps now?) while you can.
I got rolled on this lesson this past year, as wave after wave of change, chaos and quiet frankly traumatic events kept coming at me…never in a million years did I ever believe that my door would be kicked in by SWAT and FBI agents, especially since nobody around me did anything ‘wrong’ (I have since redefined what that means and adjusted somewhat accordingly). But they did. I never thought it possible that I would find myself in a situation where I was asked to save my own skin over someone else’s. (And I took the middle road there, I am not a rat, bring it on). Never thought I would take a hit on 3 different fronts financially either (the old never keep all your eggs in one basket rule) all within 3 months of each other. Never in a million years could I possibly conceive of talking to someone one minute and then 10 minutes later finding their body, let alone have to deal with powerful storms one after another at the sametime that knocked out power for 10 days (ask them sheeple up in Fairfax how it worked for them). And I certainly never thought that I would have to deal with PTSD, I am a tough bird after all. But IT HAPPENED TO ME! Ever wonder what YOU would do IF you found yourself facing the inconceivable? ARE YOU PREPARED IN ANYWAY? got extra food in the house? have a community to lean on? another source of income? extra toliet paper or the knowledge how to stay off mind altering substances to cope?
And through all of this life went on and did go on including all the everyday ordinary BS that comes with living in this modern world and such…kids, dogs (did I forget to mention that I had to put down 2 good dogs and another almost died in the midst of all this? oh yeah, and kept my customers happy and the laundry done and food cooked?)…see just because crap is hitting the fan in your life and quite possible those around you to one extent or another doesn’t mean that the ordinary details of life get to go unattended. You get to deal with that too, on top of the storm, on top of the death, on top of the major illness, on top of the job loss, on top…well, the list goes on and on.
You may THINK you can handle anything that comes your way, but have you really stopped and played that evil game called what if? It may drive you nuts at first, but part of being prepared is PLANNING…LOSS PREVENTION, Mitigation, controlling what you can…and being aware that it IS THE SMALL STUFF that will make or break you in the end.
I have spent alot of time, effort and money getting prepared in many ways…the storms that came through were a big inconvience and uncomfortable but I was at least physically ready for them…income loss was a tough one since I have never had my income cut in half overnight with no warning but I am thankful for my forethought in keeping a well packed pantry (which is now being replenished) and that I didn’t listen to others that told me sock away the money instead. I am thankful that I had a background in medicine and mental health…it HELPED tremendously and at the very least I KNEW there were healthy ways of dealing with things once the shock and denial wore off. And I learned real quick who my community was and wasn’t, who I could count on and couldn’t (now that was an eye opener), how long I could go without going grocery shopping (several months) and that grief will make you and others do really strange, unusual and nasty things.
So if anything this past year has taught me is this…IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU and IT WILL EVENTUALLY…I have come to look at ‘preparedness’ and ‘survival’ and TEOTWAWKI in a much broader scope…its not just about hurricanes, tornados or a large scale collapse…but its also about your own life and that of your family…what happens to you to end YOUR WORLD doesn’t has to happen to others…and you know what? MOST PEOPLE WILL NOT CARE ABOUT YOU, YOUR FAMILY OR YOUR SURVIVAL…it is entirely up TO YOU…not that a lone wolf will survive, but in ‘normal’ times, when SHTF in your personal life, others will be too busy or unsure to help and frankly, may in fact start behaving like buzzards smelling blood…ugly thought, but true..so my question is this…are you prepared?
Be prepared, be aware and be ready…and remember, it can happen to you!
SWAT at the Door
This coming January, 2014 will mark a month that changed my life and way of looking at the world. I always believed that cooperating and doing the right thing would keep me and mine out of harms way. I believed until that point that we were still free to say and do things without becoming subject to police action, that the First Amendment was REAL. With that said, I do understand that you can’t run around making specific threats, or yelling fire in a movie theater or bomb on airplane. I get the fact that you can’t make death threats either…okay, I get the idea and purpose behind that…but merely stating one’s opinions and feelings? Geez? Really? Two years ago I believed that my opinion could be mine and I could, within reason, express my thoughts, opinions and feelings openly. But that all changed in January of 2012.
One cold morning in January of 2012 I was visited by an investigator with the State Police…I fully cooperated with them, after all, I had done nothing wrong…why not cooperate? If you got nothing to hide then you got nothing to fear right? They weren’t after me (per se) but my ex whom I have spoken of previously…they wanted to talk to him and they wouldn’t say why…well, okay, no biggie, as a bailbonds man (my ex) I could see how they might want to speak with him and while I knew there were issues going on between my ex and a magistrate about the way he did business (and to be honest, I never knew him to do anything illegal at least business wise) I didn’t really think anything about that ‘visit’. I told them what they wanted to know (ie his cell phone number and where he was staying) and even got my ex on the phone so they could talk. End of subject right?
Dead wrong….a few mornings later I was up and getting my children ready to go to school, doing my usual routine, not yet dressed, cup of coffee in hand going to the side door of my home to smoke my morning cigarette before getting dressed.
At 8:15 in the morning with coffee in hand I see out of my kitchen window in the corner that looks out in the back yard a couple of guys with assault rifles in hand, red dots coming through the window, dressed all in black with face masks on rounding the corner of the house to the back deck area. I register this slightly as I keep going to the door and then get the shock of my life…several red dots on my chest and shouted commands…door busts open and there I stand with my mouth open being drug out of my house roughly, to see a slew of law enforcement of all types all over my yard, driveway, etc…right down to the fricken’ dog catcher. No joke…my hands are zip tied behind my back and all I can do is freak out…what the hell had I done? Then the worst…as I am trying to gain my bearings while freaking out I see a bunch of armed SWAT go in my house fully armed…my kids, then ages 1, 6 and 8 are at the table eating breakfast. It goes on and on, but suffice to say that it was a very unpleasant experience and no one gives ANY information and if you think getting robbed by someone is violating…try having the FBI, State Police, local law enforcement and ATF in your house at 8:30 in the morning with your pajamas on knowing full well you have done nothing wrong and being asked a billion questions and being told nothing. Have all your personal items gone through, frisked in front of your kids, a bomb sniffing dog that wants to eat your dogs in your house. Have 2 3 month old puppies yanked out from under the bed and put into the back of the doggie catchers truck. Have people you KNOW drive by your house and wonder what is going on…try standing there talking straight to some guy who claims authority with no bra on and everything on your cell phone, computers, laptops, tablets and ipod down loaded for review. You need to ask me why I developed PTSD? Have strangers ask you about your sex life, your tattoos, your reading material, why you have camping propane and where the timers are…REALLY? YEP! And this is the short story…and by the way, you are also in charge of making sure your kids are safe and sound at the sametime cause honestly, at this point they don’t care.
Just writing that still makes me mad, angry and scared that maybe, just maybe this will get me in hot water again. But the truth is the truth…It got resolved, but not before the damage was done. I also forgot to mention that they didn’t bother to give the search warrants (which were EXTREMELY VAGUE) until right before they left, as an after thought I think.
Did I do something wrong? Nope…I just happend to be ‘collateral’ damage in their quest to get my ex out of the bailbonds business where we lived. He didn’t even live there, but because he had previously I was suspect. Come to find out he had posted rants and raves on Facebook and some really demeaning things about women. That was it. Things were blown out of proportion because ‘they’ take everything seriously. Welcome to the New Age of Homeland Security. In all fairness, after the initial rush and invasion, when they felt safe, it wasn’t too bad, a lot of questions, a lot of watching my things gone through by strangers…not like I had anything of question in my house or on my computers. And I will say that I got good and pissed after I figured out WHY they were there and what was going on (though no one ever said it outright). And I wasn’t just pissed at my ex, but at them too for the complete overkill…but that is what they do…act first and assess later.
A couple of months later they pulled the same crap at another guy’s house, for the same reasons, but that guy was smart and prepared…everything was caught on video tape. Good for him. But I see more and more of this happening around the country, even to 11 year olds who are making statements on Facebook…really? Big Brother is watching and ready to pounce like a big cat.
Long and short, I do believe we will see more and more of my experience happen as more laws and executive orders are put into place in the name of ‘public safety’ and in the interest of ‘national security’. While I understand the need for safety and security I do question the reasoning, laws and tactics that this ever growing ‘need’ for ‘safety and security’ are beginning to dictate. I question the militarization of our police force through various means. I question what it is that ‘they’ are so afraid of that they feel the need to send in 40 people to a house where there is no threat and children present when contact was already made and cooperation was given. That single event changed my LIFE forever and not necessarily in good ways and it set in motion a string of other life changing events that have left scars that will never be healed. But after this passage of two years since this occurred I have found a strength of will that I did not know fully know I had. I survived and am ready for what may come in the future since I will not be quiet nor compliant in the future if attacked unjustly in the future. Hell, I even joke that ‘next time they better come in the middle of the night with helicopters’ because their last invasion has made me aware and wiser. And there is some truth to that statement. Not that I go around doing things to provoke the beast, I live a law abiding life (okay, I don’t always wear my seatbelt and do speed on the highway) and try not to make provocative statements. But I am aware that my political views and my lifestyle have probably got me on the ‘potential terrorist’ list. Sigh…and? I can’t go around being afraid of living and living authentically and according to my beliefs just because someone in authority might have an issue with my opinions and lifestyle (which at this point in time is not illegal).
So my point here to you and your take away?
And before anyone gets their dander up about that statement, understand that I UNDERSTAND what law enforcement is facing today in this world. I know law enforcement officers, hell, I have a background in criminal justice! There are a lot of good men and women in law enforcement who are there for the right reasons…but they have a job to do and they WILL DO IT regardless.
Now that may sound a bit like the ‘see something, say something’ campaign DHS has got going, but its not meant to be that way. I am specifically speaking to you being willing to seek help for your family members if you are seeing things that could point to a problem. I know, easier said than done…but you gotta at least try. And if you can’t then YOU take measures for your own safety.
Lastly and probably most importantly, develop a solid relationship with yourself and your higher power. Because in the end, that is really all you got between yourself and them and they can’t take that away from you. It will give you a sense of peace if and when you find yourself with that red dot on your chest and maybe, just maybe, if your open to it, you just might be given the knowledge of how to handle your particular situation in the moment.
These are just my thoughts on my experience. There are books, videos and other material out there that deal with what to or not do in given situations that go in depth and maybe helpful to you too so if you are interested in going there, go there on how to protect yourself further….
Stay safe and good luck…