One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.1
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
85% of domestic violence victims are women.
Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.5
Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.8
Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.14
In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
Less than one-fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury.
Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year.16
The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services.17
Victims of intimate partner violence lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence perpetrated against them by current or former husbands, boyfriends and dates. This loss is the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs and almost 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of violence.17
There are 16,800 homicides and $2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion.
(from ncadv.org)
There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic
violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all personality
types. Battered women are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers
are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most
people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at
home. So how do you tell?
Here are some signs to look for:
Injuries and Excuses:
In some cases, bruises and injuries may occur
frequently and be in obvious places. When this happens, the intent of the
batterer is to keep the victim isolated and trapped at home. When black eyes and
other bruising is a result of an assault, the person being battered may be
forced to call in sick to work, or face the embarrassment and excuses of how the
injuries occurred. In other cases, bruises and other outward injuries never
occur. When there are frequent injuries seen by others, the one being battered
may talk about being clumsy, or have elaborate stories of how the injuries
occurred. The truth about the source of injuries will not usually be told unless
the one told could be trusted and/or the one being battered wants help to end
the relationship.
Absences from Work or School:
When severe beatings or other trauma
related to violence occurs, the one being battered may take time off from
his/her normal schedule. If you see this happening, or the person is frequently
late, this could be a sign of something (such as relationship violence)
occurring.
Low Self-Esteem: Some
battered women have low self-esteem, while
others have a great deal of confidence and esteem in other areas of their life
(at work, as a mother, with hobbies, etc.) but not within their relationship. In
terms of dealing with the relationship, a sense of powerlessness and low
self-esteem may exist. A battered woman may believe that she could not make it
on her own without her partner and that she is lucky to have him in her
life.
Accusations of Having Affairs: This is a common tactic used by
batterers as an attempt to isolate their partners and as an excuse for a
beating. It could include accusations of looking at other men, wanting to be
with other men, or having affairs with the man bagging groceries at the local
supermarket. Friends of the couple may observe this at times, but what is seen
in public is usually only a small fraction of what the battered woman
experiences at home.
Personality Changes: People may notice that a very outgoing person,
for instance, becomes quiet and shy around his/her partner. This happens because
the one being battered “walks on egg shells” when in the presence of the one who
is abusive to her. Accusations (of flirting, talking too loudly, or telling the
wrong story to someone) have taught the abused person that it is easier to act a
certain way around the batterer than to experience additional accusations in the
future.
Fear of Conflict: As a result of being battered, some may generalize
the experience of powerlessness with other relationships. Conflicts with
co-workers, friends, relatives, and neighbors can create a lot of anxiety. For
many, it is easier to give in to whatever someone else wants than to challenge
it. Asserting one’s needs and desires begins to feel like a battle, and not
worth the risks of losing.
Not Knowing What One Wants or How One Feels: For adults or children
who have experienced violence from a loved one, the ability to identify feelings
and wants, and to express them, may not exist. This could result in
passive-aggressive behavior. Rather than telling others what you want, you say
one thing but then express your anger or frustration in an aggressive manner
(such as scratching his favorite car, burning dinner, or not completing a report
on time for your boss).
Blaming Others for Everything: The abuse, which usually includes the
batterer blaming others for everything that goes wrong, is usually targeted at a
partner or ex-partner. For example, a simple drive somewhere could turn into a
violent situation if the batterer blames the partner and/or children for getting
them lost. Co-workers and relatives may observe this type of behavior, and it
may be directed at others as well.
Self-blame: You may notice someone taking all of the blame for things
that go wrong. A co-worker may share a story about something that happened at
home and then take all of the blame for whatever occurred. If you notice this
happening a lot, it may be a sign that one is taking all of the blame is being
battered.
Aggressive or Care-taking Behavior in Children: Children who live in
violent homes may take that experience with them to school and to the
playground. Often the class bully is a child who sees violence in his home
(directed at mom, or at some or all of the children in the home). Children who
seem very grown-up and are sensitive and attentive to others’ needs may see
violence at home as well.
https://www.msu.edu/~safe/facts/warning_dv.htm
survivingshtfmom 
Earthquakes, Tornados, Hurricanes…oh my!
So here I sit after the 3rd natural weather event in 6 weeks…granted, we in New Kent, Va have escaped serious damage compared to many others who have rock n rolled, hid in their homes and had rain/wind pounding in many areas of the world and here in
the US, but I think New Kent tops the list of ‘what next?’ Started rolling with the earthquake, then followed up by hurricane Irene and then yesterday, just when you think it is safe to go back outside and possibly quit holding your breath…2 tornados (possibily more, the national weather service is out here today looking around) come up sneak attack style…I am DONE mother nature, would you just PLEASE go kick someone else’s butt for a while?
We (meaning me and my 3 girls, were coming back from getting something across town when the thunderstorm got ugly. Now I grew up in the Midwest mind you and thunderstorms don’t particular bother me but they do make me nervous and put me on high alert. Coming down the main road back towards our house my cell phone started going ballistic (I have an insta alert app for severe weather)…then the hail started but lasted maybe 30 seconds…then blue sky and sun…but as I got another alert I was looking at the sky and lo and behold! sure enough…just maybe 1/2 mile off to our right here came some nasty looking clouds seeking the ground…seen this before out here and most of the time it just kinda hangs out but this time was DIFFERENT! I knew we were in trouble when I started to see BROWN in the cloud…no place to go but forward…right into the darn thing! but at an intersection I made a left and did a quick u-turn with that THING on the otherside of the road…lots of wind…but curiously no rain or hail…very weird…and back I went the direction I came from with my oldest daughter screaming at me that the clouds were turning…nice and this after seeing the biggest rainbow I have seen in years!
Anyway, it was a baby tornado compared to what I have seen in the midwest, did minor damage to my county (like laying trees down across the major interstate, trees down, power out, roofs off of a few buildings) and one road to my home was blocked by a big oak (again) but all in all, we got lucky. I don’t like being caught in the open with a tornado on the ground so close you can see where it is touching the ground, don’t like hail nor blinding rain either and I saw an example of STUPID yesterday with people driving on like nothing was doing outside…crazy…do they not have an app or listen to the radio or even better yet…look outside their car window?? Do they not understand what flashing headlights mean? sigh…
So we survived again but the events of the past 6 weeks have me on edge, not to mention the news…but here’s the deal peeps that I have learned in the past 6 weeks…that AT ANYTIME shtf can happen and you can’t be complacent about being ready for what may come…and once it starts and you are in the middle of it you better know what to do because it is too late at that point.
So what do I think?
1) Pay attention! use your eyes, ears and the media to KNOW what is going on. Granted with an earthquake it is kinda hard to ‘know’ ahead of time, but I will tell you this…watch the animals! they KNOW way before we do that its coming your way…again, use your eyeballs and pay attention…if you see or hear anything out of normal…pay attention.
2) Listen to your gut or intuition- this is probably one of the BEST skills you can hone for FREE as a prepper, survivalist or just a ‘concerned’ person. When something catches your attention there is usually a reason why…when something makes the hair on your neck stand up there is usually a reason why…follow up on it.
3) Can’t say this enough…get a PLAN AND KNOW WHAT TO DO ‘JUST IN CASE’…do you have any idea how much time is wasted that could save your life or your property or money if you just have a vague idea about ‘what to do’ ‘just in case’? Trust me when I tell you, forethought goes a long way when you are in ’emergency’ mode and it helps to keep panic and fear down to a minimum simply because you have at least a vague idea about ‘what to do’.
4) Act and act with decisiveness…and don’t worry about what others will think. Time and time again, I have seen people pause and wait because of ‘others’ and the sheeple mentality and then get caught in a royal mesh/nightmare. Be your own boss and stop worrying about what others think, and that includes your spouse, family and children. Do what you need to do when you need to do it.
Just these 4 simple things got me ahead of the hoards and kept me and mine safe and sound during the earthquake, hurricane and tornado (must apologize to the guy I cut off on the road when I turned around!).
And one last thing…don’t fail to prepare for the aftermath of ‘something’ either. I am worn OUT from all the excitement… Afterwards can be worse than the actual event, the disruption in ‘normal’, the let down of adrenaline (which can wipe you out physically), the isolation (power, travel and communication disruptions) and well, any number of things can and will take its toll ‘afterwards’. So just know it somewhere in the back of your mind that you will need to be able to take care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically and be gentle with yourself and loved ones afterwards. There are alot of ways to manage stress and change so learn what works best for you and yours BEFORE hand and have alot of different ways to do so. Stress in the aftermath can cloud the mind and kill.
So anyway, earthquake, check…hurricane, check….tornadoes, check…still alive and kicking here and I haven’t killed anyone yet…so I must be doing something right. And now I turn my attention to winter.