Tag Archive: homelessness

I am not ‘rich’ by any means… I have no savings what-so-ever, credit card debt (thank goodness not that much, way under 5k and paying them off rapidly and not using them at all and yes, they are still in my wallet), not a lot in tangible assets that are worth anything of value, student loans, two businesses that are supported through the law of supply and demand, 3 cars (yes I do have 3 but 2 are paid for and both are at least 10 years old) a home that I owe a mortgage on for the next 28 years and this morning, I was smacked into financial reality, yet again…the mortgage is due and when I pay it, I will have only $100 left until my customers pay me and I need to go to the grocery store, never mind the rest of the bills that are coming due. Today I feel like I am gambling and on the loosing end of the stick.

 This is situation NORMAL for me but yet, each time I come face to face with this ‘normal’, I get a bit nervous, okay, more than a bit nervous if you want the truth. I really don’t want to go into my stash of food because it would be like admitting something is definately wrong with this picture. I really don’t want to have start selling things off to make the bills either, but you know, I just may have to if things don’t get turned around just a bit. Used to be that I could at least count on positive cash flow from one of my businesses to at least meet the basics, (never mind anything ‘extra’) but right now, hmm, not so reliable, rather sporadic and it bothers me greatly…fear creeps into me…So what the heck do I do?

I will tell what I do(what I AM doing right this moment as I write) when I come face to face with the uncertainity in my life…I get a grip, yep, get a grip. I am blessed to own my own home which is not upside-down nor am I behind in payments, the power is on, I own vehicles outright that do run and nothing is in cut-off status (yet). I am not ‘sick’ per se, though I live thyroid disease and my children are for the moment, healthy. My dogs run in the front yard and aren’t starving or sick…I do have food in the house thanks to being ‘prepared’ just in case something happens and worst case crash, drop dead senario, I do have tangible assets worth money that I could sell. So my pitty potty time is brief. I count my blessings and remember that I enjoy an abundance that millions of others in this country no longer enjoy. I remember that I can create money from the work of my own hands, and I am smart and savvy (okay, not all the time but forgive me for being human) and can work and will work and DO work long hours leaving the dirty dishes in the sink until I have to go make dinner. And after dinner and finishing up a bit more business related work I get to go inside and take a shower and go to sleep in a warm bed. Thank goodness I am not homeless, without a way to earn money and I am not tottering on the edge of some giganitc financial cliff (yet) from which there is no return. There is still room to wiggle. I actually still have a pretty ‘normal’ middle class life.

I get a grip remembering that for me, the NORMAL is that things change on the dime and sitting here worrying only occupies my mind and time allowing for no positive forward thinking or getting things done and makes me sick, literally. For me, sitting here worrying is a distraction and a waste of energy that is better spent doing what I can when and where I can to cut bills down, taking care of customers quickly and putting more effort into my work (that just happens to pay the bills). Worry can quickly turn into depression, anxiety and dispair if I don’t get a grip and wrap my head around gratitude and acceptance…so I work on that today…can’t change what is in this moment but I surely can be grateful what I do have instead of spending time lamenting to myself about what I can’t do today and over what I have no control over. And in a SHTF senario, worry, anxiety, depression and dispair can get you dead real quick…it can immobilize you when you need to get digging deeper or become more creative in how to deal with a situation and it WILL cause grief into the future because when you worry you start creating from FEAR and THAT is a big mistake. While I don’t suggest putting on rose colored glasses or sticking your head in the sand, I do try to remember that the REASON WHY I have choosen to get prepared is to avoid this very thing called worry and fear…and I am to some degree, prepared.

I get a grip on the idea (which then turns into a feeling) that I AM OKAY TODAY, no matter what my bank account says. Adjust Laura, adjust and get a grip, it will all be okay. It may not be what I want it to be, but it will all be okay, just get a grip, you ain’t something ‘special’ and you aren’t alone in this…so get a grip and carry on, its all good.

Just for some perspective I offer this:

Car Sleepers, the New Homeless

Just another day?

Just another day today. Get up, get kids out the door or settled down, me out to work, get mail done, edit websites and spend time doing what needs doing around the house…but today something really got my attention while on the way to the babysitters house. There was a man, on a bike, on the side of the road with a broom stick fishing rod. (Don’t really know why, it just did). Neat in appearance, very unassuming with a bed roll on sitting next to his bike. Now, for some, seeing someone like this could be ‘normal’, maybe in an older urban area where homelessness in good times is still around, but out here where I live, this is unusual, and it is especially unusual ON MY ROAD out in the middle of nowhere. Where did this guy come from? I have seen him on several different occassions and honestly, thought nothing about him, just a guy riding his bike with a homemade fishing pole…hmm, maybe homeless, maybe not…I would look right at him and he would look away, but today, as I drove by him, he kinda straightened up from what he was doing and looked right back at me. Almost daring me to stop and say something. I kept on going. But this got me really thinking, its not the norm to see the homeless out in the country, out in the open, especially in a small town setting. (And I would consider anyone with a bed roll next to a bike homeless, why else would they have it?) The cops don’t dig it and people around here are bit suspicious of anyone they don’t know, still friendly, but wary if you catch my drift.  And come to think of it, I have seen, a few times, people walking up the sides of the road with children in tow behind them and no broken down car behind them. Not real often, but just enough for me to remember it.

I don’t know why I am even bothering to write about this, but something is very unsettling about where my brain is taking me with these seemingly unrelated and uneventful occurances. I used to live in a city where I saw things like this or similar to them all the time. It was what it was you know? What you expected to see in the city. But to see it out here leaves me with a feeling that I can’t quite explain except that it is unsettling and it makes me wonder how bad it is in the city closest to me. There are no real jobs out where I live, they are in the city and suburbs of the city…so why am I seeing this out here now? In some ways it confirms what I already know, that its coming…’it’ being a further decline in our country and economy (remember my SHTF senario of a slow roiling boil?) and it makes me very much aware that I need to be paying more attention to my surroundings when out and about, even on my property…’the stranger’ is coming to a place near me sooner rather than later. This isn’t paranoid thinking, this is the pattern of behavior in countries where the economy is shot to hell in a hand basket…they leave the city because the myth is that things are better ‘out in the country side’…Thinking about this today has shifted something within my mind and is nibbling away at my feelings of security (one reason why I moved out where I am, to get further away from what could get ugly). There have been a few other things that have happened in my small town over the past month or so that compound this ‘feeling’ I have that its getting worse and its probably much worse than I am aware of if the movement is beginning to start from the cities out into the countryside both in terms of the homeless and in terms of crime…this is just sitting there in front of my face today, in my awareness now, on a day that just started off as just another day.