Category: Commentary


Positive Thinking and Being Prepared

Filed under: Commentary, Mental Health, Spiritual Preparedness — 1 Comment
December 8, 2011

Prepared people are positive people…let me repeat that…preppers are preparing because they are POSITIVE people. They do not lie to themselves, they see the world for what it is, they have seen the possibilities of ‘danger’ or ‘possible problems’ and have decided to take positive action. Preppers believe this…they can! You CAN! Positive action come from positive thoughts…that something CAN BE DONE and they, in fact are powerful enough to effect change in their own lives. Maybe they can’t change the world in which they live, but they most certainly can change their own lives and have an effect on the outcome of a negative event or situation.

The following I have posted on my Facebook account, under Rev. Laura Bradley and is what inspired this blog:

Positive Thinkers: a reminder from our angels: Positive thinking requires seeing life in a clear light, without lies or pretense. Positive thinkers do not lie to themselves. Often people set out to practice positive thinking, and they end up denying difficulties, disregarding pain, and practicing grandiose wishful thinking. All this is only a form of positive lying. Think about how positive your own thinking is and find ways to strengthen your resolve against the negative, without lies or pretense…you can be positive even while seeing negative and naming it for what it is.

Norman Vincent Peale wrote a groundbreaking book in 1951 entitled ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ and for the last 55 years, we’ve heard alot about the power that positive thinking brings. Positive thinkers have to be creative and intelligent in their thinking. Positive thinkers look beyond difficulties for creative solutions, seeing the difficulties in a clear light so that clear solutions will surface. On the otherhand, negative thinkers see difficulties in dark hues of hopeless despair and become overwhelmed and defeated by difficulties. We always have the choice to turn the lights on and take a good look at what we are dealing with, and we are always free to assume the best (without lying to ourselves or pretense or pretending).

I have taken this from Angel Wisdom by Terry Lynn Taylor and Mary Beth Crain and have taken the liberty to change a bit 🙂

Hmm…creative? No lying to ourselves? Turning the ‘light’ on? Assuming the best? Don’t deny difficulties or possible difficulties? Finding ways to strength themselves and their resolve against negativity? Gee…that sounds like a prepared person to me…and that is a positive thinker!

I have heard and seen the terms ‘doomers’ but is someone really a doomer? A doomer, by definition, is someone who sees nothing but the negative in this world and does nothing to counteract the negativity or sets about using negative measures to counteract the negative they see in the world…you may know the type and often will hear these sorts of comments: What’s the point? I can’t change anything. What will be will be (as they do nothing to help themselves). I don’t want to know anymore! Someone will come to help us/me if that does happen. And I am sure you can come up with even more statements yourself about doomer thinking or maybe not. Positive thinkers have a hard time thinking like a doomer!

Personally, I wouldn’t bother preparing me and my family against the coming storm(s) if I didn’t believe that we could survive and then thrive afterwards. And that is a positive attitude. To see the potential threat, name it, claim it, own it and then do what I can, where I can, when I can, to get through it as best as possible, so that when the dust settles, me and mine are still standing (hopefully with health intact).

But I will say this, positive thinkers pay attention, see the problem and then take steps to counteract the lies, problems and issues that are inherent in the situation that they are preparing to face, survive and then thrive in spite of. They do not DWELL upon the problem, they get to problem solving. While a positive person may see and name the negative forces or fact (and they certainly seem to be overwhelming at times) they get to problem solving as soon as possible. They may share what they see with others, but then encourage others in the same breath to get to problem solving themselves. If you can’t see the problem, then you are lying to yourself and that goes directly against positive thinking…you can’t ignore or hide or deny the problem exists and be a positive thinker. And you can’t stick your head in the sand assuming that someone else will ‘fix’ the problem for you. Positive thinking requires action of some sort.

Each person who is getting ready ‘for what may come, in whatever form it may come’ sees what they see. Some are aware at higher levels than others, and that is okay. Some of us prepare for literal ‘storms’ such as hurricanes, floods, tornadoes. Some of us take it a step further and have identified other threats that can be from the fragility of our economy (loss of job), to the interconnectedness of our world financial situation, to peak oil, to the erosion of civil and constitutional rights and maybe even identifying that our country cannot continue along as it has with our governments fiscal policies. You name it, we all get prepared for different reasons, but that is okay! It is all identifying a potential negative force in our life, over which we may not be able to effect change at a level to PREVENT the negative influence, so we take steps to mitigate its effects on a personal level. We feel that we have the power to effect positive changes in our own lives to help guard against the negative outside influences that may or may not directly effect us at some time in the future. We are positive in our outlook that we can survive and maybe thrive through what may come in the future.

We are aware, creative and problem solving and learning each and everyday in our preparations for an uncertain future.

We are POSITIVE thinkers, not doom and gloomers. We are just aware and take positive steps for our future while others walk down the road of negative thinking…

Positive thinking requires seeing life in a clear light, without lies or pretense. Positive thinkers do not lie to themselves. Often people set out to practice positive thinking, and they end up denying difficulties, disregarding pain, and practicing grandiose wishful thinking. All this is only a form of positive lying. Think about how positive your own thinking is and find ways to strengthen your resolve and your life against the negative, without lies or pretense…you can be positive even while seeing negative and naming it for what it is.

Positive thinkers have to be creative and intelligent in their thinking. Positive thinkers look beyond difficulties for creative solutions, seeing the difficulties in a clear light so that clear solutions will surface.

On the otherhand, negative thinkers see difficulties in dark hues of hopeless despair and become overwhelmed and defeated by difficulties. They may choose different path ways to overcome ‘difficulties’ but those ways usually involve allowing others to do the work for themselves whether by denial or through directly abdicating their freedom and control over their very lives through dependence.

 

We always have the choice to turn the lights on and take a good look at what we are dealing with, and we are always free to assume the best…that we can overcome through being prepared…

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Where is it going? Goods on Store Shelves Less and Less

Filed under: Commentary, Financial, Lists of Lists — 7 Comments
December 5, 2011

Something I have noticed over the past few months that seems to be accelerating…goods are disappearing from stores. Have you noticed this? Stores are carrying more and more store brands (the quality of which I find questionable in many cases) and removing the brand names. Less of particular types of goods are being carried and by result, there is more ‘space’ in a store (less shelving). And goods are not being restocked and less is being restocked. This goes from Walmart to grocery stores to the local Sam’s club to Target even down to Pet Smart. (In fact, one Walmart store has completely removed their jewelry section). This is troubling to me and I can’t quite put my finger on ‘why’ this is occurring. I understand that we are in the midst of an economic depression that isn’t being spoken about and that sellers are adjusting to lower sales of ‘higher’ priced items (read that name brands) and that they are putting in less choice because they don’t want to put the money into items that are or could be slow movers. But not restocking? Is there a supply problem I don’t know about? Or perhaps shipments are being delayed because they are running less trucks and they are trying to save on money for fuel? (but give me a BREAK, fuel costs went up 2 years ago so that doesn’t float with me). Or is it that we, the public aren’t being told the truth about the value/exchange rate of our dollar and the supply problem (thanks NAFTA) is starting on the other end of just getting the raw product or item into theUS? Something is a miss when the Pedigree dog food I buy from a particular Walmart is ‘missing’ for weeks before they get it back in. Something is not right when a good selling product (such as organic canned veggies or even Dr.Pepper soda) goes on the missing list and I am told they don’t know when or IF they will carry it again. Maybe I am spoiled…but the list of things I have noticed go ‘missing’ is growing and rapidly growing, but the cheap crap from China (including food that is of  a questionable nature in terms of safety…such as apple juice of which over 60% comes from China and contains levels of cyanide that I find unacceptable…that stuff never gets out of your body and you wonder why I insist on organic??) is coming in here faster than it can be sold. What is the deal there? I understand that money is being deflated and costs are being inflated making it harder and harder for the average American to maintain a higher standard of living…but this is starting to feel like an attack is upon us…a trade/monetary war of which is not being spoken. Take a product away and they will buy something else from us. But what about socks? I swear a month ago I went looking for just run of the mill cotton socks and the local Walmart had NONE or next to none in any size, neither did the Target, neither did the Old Navy store near by. And it was only 2 weeks ago that they refilled the shelves. I even had a hard time finding ordinary socks online IN STOCK!! This just strikes me as very odd…and its alarming at the sametime to me, one of the indicators of collapse is the unavailability of goods for a length of time. And before someone points out this to me, I do understand that this past year the cotton harvest was abysmal, so that could be a part of the problem too. But I have to wonder, what are we not being told? Where is it going? And the big question…why?

With this said, I am going to give you a list of items that I have noticed are ‘disappearing’ or getting hard to get that you may want to get when you find:

1)      Cotton socks

2)      Fire starting methods (lighters, lighter fluid, matches, etc.)

3)      Quality Canned Goods (store brand is the lowest grade of food available, avoid if you can!)

4)      Bottled Water

5)      Baby Food

6)      Quality Pet Foods

7)      Ammo

8)      Batteries of all types

There are other things such as soda, garbage bags, detergent of all sorts and media (CDs, Books).

Anyone else notice the ‘disappearance’ of something I haven’t mentioned? Maybe I am paranoid or maybe I just spoiled about having choices, but what I am seeing is concerning me, anyone else? I know at this point, when I see these items I am very likely to get everything I can afford to…tell me what you think?

 

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Personal Responsibilty and Being Prepared/What if?

Filed under: Commentary, Mental Health — Leave a comment
November 17, 2011

Lets talk…seriously, lets have a dialogue here and now about personal responsibility because at the heart of being ‘prepared’ is the idea of personal responsibility and taking responsibility for your future. Is personal responsibilty dead? Not for those who are ‘prepared’, not for those who deal with life on life’s terms… Its not about fear, its not about being afraid of the unknown nor being angry with politicians or corporations nor about feeling like the sky is about to fall in, though certainly these can all be catalysts and a spring board for wanting to be prepared and personal responsibilty is often at the heart of people doing the right thing…(is that why we are so fascinated with the news? are we looking for those who are responsible? examples that justify us in not being responsible ourselves?) It is well known and understood that human beings are generally self-seeking, self-centered and very short sighted…we would do well to remember that this is part of immaturity and that as we age, we are somehow supposed to outgrow this and become ‘mature’, meaning, we become ‘responsible individuals’ and personally responsible for our actions or lack there of and not expect to remain forever in a state of immaturity. The mature adult is rational and can see outside of him/herself and can see beyond the immediate, in the now, moment and can rise above base impulses sent forth from the reptilian part of the brain that seeks only to ensure its own survival and pleasure (though it is useful in dangerous situations!) It seems to me that over the past few decades, that many people have abdicated their personal responsibility in making responsible choices that not only take into account their own wants, needs and desires but those with whom they interact either directly or not. We as a people have chosen, even subconsciously, to allow others to take of us and decide what is in ‘our best interests’ and to ‘make’ us safe for whatever reasons so that ‘we’ may just listen to that part of the brain that tells us ‘if it feels good do it’ and not have to worry about our future and instead, be continual children under the hand of a parent. For some, it is out of necessity because we/they simply struggle to make ends meet and can’t for a moment look up and raise their voices…for others, it is because they made choices and decisions that put themselves in a position where they couldn’t say anything or do anything to help themselves, others, it is simply because they are too wrapped up in ‘getting ahead’ or simply don’t care because, after all, they are ‘safe’ and don’t do anything outside of the ‘norm’ and they aren’t ‘responsible’ for everyone else, aftger all, that is why they vote, so that others can speak for them…the list of WHY people have abdicated their own responsibility for their own lives is long and never straight nor simple. And many of, even though we are, in general, very responsible adults, sometimes make mistakes that cause us to abdicate our personal power/responsibility…to err is human and to gain wisdom is divine from our mistakes…to keep on making these mistakes, well, that would mean we aren’t responsible now wouldn’t it? Now, these are bold statements and may make you angry or sad…and you can disagree on the reasons why I feel that we are a nation of people who have abdicated personal responsibility to others, but we must admit, if all of US and that includes corporations, groups of individuals down to individuals have or had consistently taken personal responsibility for ourselves and actions, then we wouldn’t be living in a country that has a penal system that has exploded, with a social services system that can’t cope, with unemployment running rampant, with big government and regulations strangling businesses and people feeling the need to take to the streets in protest out of anger, frustration and finally waking up to fact that they have been asleep at the wheel for too long and now there is a train wreck in their front yard. Regardless of where you fall politically, religiously, ideologically…regardless of your race, color or creed, the core of being an productive member of society is personal responsibility and doing the ‘right thing’. I am not here to argue the finer points or details, merely to express that personal responsibility is ‘ours’ and ours alone and that as individuals we cannot and should not expect others to take care of us and mind the chickens that we have. To expect others to protect us fully and with our best interests at heart is to invite control over our lives. To expect that others will ultimately know what is best for us and ours is to invite intrusion into our lives and potential upset when we disagree or finally decide that we know what is best for ourselves. To give up our rights as individuals in the name of ‘safety’ is to invite control into our lives that destroys our rights. But to expect that we can do whatever it is that we wish to do without consequences or that someone else will take care of it also invites control of our lives by outside forces. With rights come responsibility and that responsibility ultimately rests on our own individual shoulders and begins with personal responsibility. And THIS is ultimately what is at the heart of anyone who prepares for whatever situation that comes into their lives. It is a guiding force that no one and nothing can take away from someone. To be a responsible individual you cannot go on wild spending sprees with credit cards and then not pay the bill. You can’t be a responsible individual and drink and drive…you can’t just eat whatever you want and then wonder why you have diabetes later on in life and you can’t NOT VOTE and then complain when a new law comes down taking away your right to own a fire arm or complain because you don’t like how things are handled. Personal responsibility is ACTIVE not passive. Personal responsibility is not just about you but in seeing the big picture and how your actions will have an impact upon others and then making a decision that will harm the fewest people and places and is in the best interest of all concerned without prejudice. (And yes, we do have that responsibility to have the wisdom to see how our actions may or may not support others that is part of being a grown, mature adult, its about not just thinking of ourselves). And collectively we should be responsible too…however, that is not the point of this blog article, the point is that the chickens are coming home to roost…for too long, too many have abdicated their personal responsibility, placing their trust, like a child, into people with whom they also placed their futures and now face reality or not. For those of us who are personally responsible for ourselves we prepare for life on life’s terms, we do not hand over our lives to strangers who may or may not have our best interests at heart, whom, for whatever reasons, may have agendas that suit their own sense of ‘personal responsibility’ but that may not match our own. When we recognize we may have made a mistake, we don’t run from it nor expect someone else to clean up our mess…we get into it, make amends and do what we can to remedy the situation and then get up and go forth, hopefully never to repeat the problem again. We, as personally responsible people seek not to force our opinions upon others, but make our opinions heard and then allows others to form their own opinions, whether we agree with them or not and keep on going. We support ourselves, don’t expect help but ask for it when we truly need it…we do what we can, when we can to minimize the help we need, but we are not infallible fortresses, one-man armies nor an island. We can see when others need our help or opinions or perhaps some sound advice and give it, not to engender them to ourselves but give them a hand up so that they too, may become personally responsible. And we are personally responsible in that we do no grievous harm to others or at the expense of others merely to promote our own well-being or that of our group. At the heart of someone who prepares for life and whatever may come, ie a prepper, is someone who sees and understands the wisdom of personal responsibility and then does something about it. Is personal responsibility so ‘out of date’ that it has become radical and thus something to be feared? Or has it been out of fashion for so long that to be personally responsible for ourselves, our family, our friends and our country and our world is something that we have lost the ability to be so? I think not, for to be personally responsible is a minute to minute, day to day choice and that is why growing numbers are becoming ‘preppers’ or being more prepared. Personal responsible gives one personal power and alleviates fear and calms the stressors in one’s life, is that something to be feared or mocked or marginalized…no, and I am proud to see more and more people in this world, for whatever their reason, becoming more responsible for themselves and their loved ones and becoming prepared to face what life will throw at them in the coming years. It need not be scary nor something that only radicals do, for truly, its all about personal responsibility.

And it begins with me…

Asking…what if?

Then I start to answer those what if questions and do my best not to assume that a parental hand will come along and pat me on the back or tell me…it will be okay…for I am my own parental hand and it is my personal responsibilty to take care of myself, voice my opinions, think not just of myself but of others too and then do what I need to do to be that hand for myself. It may include saving money for a rainy day, it may include getting extra food into the house. It may include educating myself on the ways of handling minor medical problems and having the tools on hand to do so (not to mention getting the wisdom to know when I can’t do it myself). It may include thinking ahead and planning for those those times that others can’t behave themselves and it most definately means that I act not as a child would in response to external events.

It is my sincere wish that anyone who has read this has a light bulb turned on within their own heart and mind and it is my prayer today that maybe, just maybe, that I have helped someone turn the page and begin to realize that they need to be more personally responsible, not just because its the wise thing to do and it will ‘save themselves’ but because it is the right thing to do in all of our interests and perhaps, just maybe, this will, in the end, save someone’s life and help all of move peacably past the turmoil in our world now.

And I really have to ask…what would the world be like if most people were personally responsible?

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Earthquakes, Tornados, Hurricanes…oh my!

Filed under: Commentary, Emergencies, Mental Health — Leave a comment
October 14, 2011

So here I sit after the 3rd natural weather event in 6 weeks…granted, we in New Kent, Va have escaped serious damage compared to many others who have rock n rolled, hid in their homes and had rain/wind pounding in many areas of the world and here in the US, but I think New Kent tops the list of ‘what next?’ Started rolling with the earthquake, then followed up by hurricane Irene and then yesterday, just when you think it is safe to go back outside and possibly quit holding your breath…2 tornados (possibily more, the national weather service is out here today looking around) come up sneak attack style…I am DONE mother nature, would you just PLEASE go kick someone else’s butt for a while?

We (meaning me and my 3 girls, were coming back from getting something across town when the thunderstorm got ugly. Now I grew up in the Midwest mind you and thunderstorms don’t particular bother me but they do make me nervous and put me on high alert. Coming down the main road back towards our house my cell phone started going ballistic (I have an insta alert app for severe weather)…then the hail started but lasted maybe 30 seconds…then blue sky and sun…but as I got another alert I was looking at the sky and lo and behold! sure enough…just maybe 1/2 mile off to our right here came some nasty looking clouds seeking the ground…seen this before out here and most of the time it just kinda hangs out but this time was DIFFERENT! I knew we were in trouble when I started to see BROWN in the cloud…no place to go but forward…right into the darn thing! but at an intersection I made a left and did a quick u-turn with that THING on the otherside of the road…lots of wind…but curiously no rain or hail…very weird…and back I went the direction I came from with my oldest daughter screaming at me that the clouds were turning…nice and this after seeing the biggest rainbow I have seen in years!

Anyway, it was a baby tornado compared to what I have seen in the midwest, did minor damage to my county (like laying trees down across the major interstate, trees down, power out, roofs off of a few buildings) and one road to my home was blocked by a big oak (again) but all in all, we got lucky. I don’t like being caught in the open with a tornado on the ground so close you can see where it is touching the ground, don’t like hail nor blinding rain either and I saw an example of STUPID yesterday with people driving on like nothing was doing outside…crazy…do they not have an app or listen to the radio or even better yet…look outside their car window?? Do they not understand what flashing headlights mean? sigh…

So we survived again but the events of the past 6 weeks have me on edge, not to mention the news…but here’s the deal peeps that I have learned in the past 6 weeks…that AT ANYTIME shtf can happen and you can’t be complacent about being ready for what may come…and once it starts and you are in the middle of it you better know what to do because it is too late at that point.

So what do I think?

1) Pay attention! use your eyes, ears and the media to KNOW what is going on. Granted with an earthquake it is kinda hard to ‘know’ ahead of time, but I will tell you this…watch the animals! they KNOW way before we do that its coming your way…again, use your eyeballs and pay attention…if you see or hear anything out of normal…pay attention.

2) Listen to your gut or intuition- this is probably one of the BEST skills you can hone for FREE as a prepper, survivalist or just a ‘concerned’ person. When something catches your attention there is usually a reason why…when something makes the hair on your neck stand up there is usually a reason why…follow up on it.

3) Can’t say this enough…get a PLAN AND KNOW WHAT TO DO ‘JUST IN CASE’…do you have any idea how much time is wasted that could save your life or your property or money if you just have a vague idea about ‘what to do’ ‘just in case’? Trust me when I tell you, forethought goes a long way when you are in ’emergency’ mode and it helps to keep panic and fear down to a minimum simply because you have at least a vague idea about ‘what to do’.

4) Act and act with decisiveness…and don’t worry about what others will think. Time and time again, I have seen people pause and wait because of ‘others’ and the sheeple mentality and then get caught in a royal mesh/nightmare. Be your own boss and stop worrying about what others think, and that includes your spouse, family and children. Do what you need to do when you need to do it.

Just these 4 simple things got me ahead of the hoards and kept me and mine safe and sound during the earthquake, hurricane and tornado (must apologize to the guy I cut off on the road when I turned around!).

And one last thing…don’t fail to prepare for the aftermath of ‘something’ either. I am worn OUT from all the excitement… Afterwards can be worse than the actual event, the disruption in ‘normal’, the let down of adrenaline (which can wipe you out physically), the isolation (power, travel and communication disruptions) and well, any number of things can and will take its toll ‘afterwards’. So just know it somewhere in the back of your mind that you will need to be able to take care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically and be gentle with yourself and loved ones afterwards. There are alot of ways to manage stress and change so learn what works best for you and yours BEFORE hand and have alot of different ways to do so. Stress in the aftermath can cloud the mind and kill.

So anyway, earthquake, check…hurricane, check….tornadoes, check…still alive and kicking here and I haven’t killed anyone yet…so I must be doing something right. And now I turn my attention to winter.

 

 

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A Sign of Things To Come…

Filed under: children, Commentary, Financial, Mental Health — Leave a comment
October 10, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.1

An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

85% of domestic violence victims are women.

Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.

Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.5

Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.

Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.8

Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.14

In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder. 

Less than one-fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury.

Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year.16

The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services.17

Victims of intimate partner violence lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence perpetrated against them by current or former husbands, boyfriends and dates. This loss is the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs and almost 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of violence.17


There are 16,800 homicides and $2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion.

(from ncadv.org)

There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic
violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all personality
types. Battered women are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers
are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most
people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at
home. So how do you tell?

Here are some signs to look for:

Injuries and Excuses:
In some cases, bruises and injuries may occur
frequently and be in obvious places. When this happens, the intent of the
batterer is to keep the victim isolated and trapped at home. When black eyes and
other bruising is a result of an assault, the person being battered may be
forced to call in sick to work, or face the embarrassment and excuses of how the
injuries occurred. In other cases, bruises and other outward injuries never
occur. When there are frequent injuries seen by others, the one being battered
may talk about being clumsy, or have elaborate stories of how the injuries
occurred. The truth about the source of injuries will not usually be told unless
the one told could be trusted and/or the one being battered wants help to end
the relationship.

Absences from Work or School:
When severe beatings or other trauma
related to violence occurs, the one being battered may take time off from
his/her normal schedule. If you see this happening, or the person is frequently
late, this could be a sign of something (such as relationship violence)
occurring.

Low Self-Esteem: Some
battered women have low self-esteem, while
others have a great deal of confidence and esteem in other areas of their life
(at work, as a mother, with hobbies, etc.) but not within their relationship. In
terms of dealing with the relationship, a sense of powerlessness and low
self-esteem may exist. A battered woman may believe that she could not make it
on her own without her partner and that she is lucky to have him in her
life.

Accusations of Having Affairs: This is a common tactic used by
batterers as an attempt to isolate their partners and as an excuse for a
beating. It could include accusations of looking at other men, wanting to be
with other men, or having affairs with the man bagging groceries at the local
supermarket. Friends of the couple may observe this at times, but what is seen
in public is usually only a small fraction of what the battered woman
experiences at home.

Personality Changes: People may notice that a very outgoing person,
for instance, becomes quiet and shy around his/her partner. This happens because
the one being battered “walks on egg shells” when in the presence of the one who
is abusive to her. Accusations (of flirting, talking too loudly, or telling the
wrong story to someone) have taught the abused person that it is easier to act a
certain way around the batterer than to experience additional accusations in the
future.

Fear of Conflict: As a result of being battered, some may generalize
the experience of powerlessness with other relationships. Conflicts with
co-workers, friends, relatives, and neighbors can create a lot of anxiety. For
many, it is easier to give in to whatever someone else wants than to challenge
it. Asserting one’s needs and desires begins to feel like a battle, and not
worth the risks of losing.

Not Knowing What One Wants or How One Feels: For adults or children
who have experienced violence from a loved one, the ability to identify feelings
and wants, and to express them, may not exist. This could result in
passive-aggressive behavior. Rather than telling others what you want, you say
one thing but then express your anger or frustration in an aggressive manner
(such as scratching his favorite car, burning dinner, or not completing a report
on time for your boss).

Blaming Others for Everything: The abuse, which usually includes the
batterer blaming others for everything that goes wrong, is usually targeted at a
partner or ex-partner. For example, a simple drive somewhere could turn into a
violent situation if the batterer blames the partner and/or children for getting
them lost. Co-workers and relatives may observe this type of behavior, and it
may be directed at others as well.

Self-blame: You may notice someone taking all of the blame for things
that go wrong. A co-worker may share a story about something that happened at
home and then take all of the blame for whatever occurred. If you notice this
happening a lot, it may be a sign that one is taking all of the blame is being
battered.

Aggressive or Care-taking Behavior in Children: Children who live in
violent homes may take that experience with them to school and to the
playground. Often the class bully is a child who sees violence in his home
(directed at mom, or at some or all of the children in the home). Children who
seem very grown-up and are sensitive and attentive to others’ needs may see
violence at home as well.

https://www.msu.edu/~safe/facts/warning_dv.htm

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

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Update on Irene Pt1

Filed under: Commentary, Emergencies — Leave a comment
August 27, 2011

At this time in New Kent Virginia we are beginning to experience heavy rains (it has been raining all morning) but the wind is REALLY starting to pick up. We have lost our satellite tv signal just a few moments ago (rain drown out) and the dogs are not liking this…the trees are really starting to bend in the wind now (which is NOT a fun thing to watch). Keep in mind that I live out in the ‘woods’ and many of the trees are over 50 foot tall and many of them are the nasty pines that have already been damaged from ice and previous storms, I pray that any trees that go down go down away from my structures…

On another note: we do still have power..yeah! so far so good, bathtubs and wash machine are filled with water as I am positive we will eventually loose power as the worst of the storm is supposed to come through between 2pm and 10pm. A tornado warning was issued south/east of us earlier so I am sure that something wicked this way will come to us eventually too…

Last night I filled up zip lock baggies with water and put into the freezer as suggested by a guy on the Weather Channel…as soon as we loose power I am pulling out lunch meat and such to put into a cooler (as you can’t run the generator while its raining) and then will pull the frozen zip lock baggies out and put into the frig to keep things cold until tomorrow morning…its supposed to be beautiful out tomorrow 🙂

I learned something last night…my master bath tub doesn’t have a drain stopper…panic time, but I remembered picking up various drain stoppers when I first moved into my home for a utility sink…bingo…bath tub drain issue resolved…lesson learned here…sometimes the devil is in the details and having ‘extra’ ‘just in case’ things around the house might mean a difference down the road.

My 4 month old PitBull doesn’t like to go out to use the potty in the rain…extra paper towels and spray cleaner and air freshner is at the ready. While I am certain she could not eat for a day and survive, she still needs water. I am trying to get her to go out but so far no luck, she is verys stubborn and almost 45 pounds and hard to move when she doesn’t want to be moved…sigh…the things we learn as we go along I suppose…

I will be back as things permit…I have at the ready a laptop with broadband access and an tablet but those will only work as long as the cell phone towers stay up…

For those of you in Irene’s path this weekend…get prepared and stay safe while she passes!

blessings

survivingshtfmom

Laura

 

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